One night Through the window
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People usually prefer sleeping at night but I am currently suffering from insomnia. No specific reason though; it happens with people here in MICA. I have been looking out through the window since 12 midnight and this is what I see.
A murder in progress
Disclaimer: A true story
It is the genral ward in Barakar Hospital, a huge room with almost 200 plus patients being attended by nurses; Mom, Dad, sis and I were moving our eyes from one bed to the other
“She is not going to recognize you guys, so search for her” were the words of the ward attendants .
Loving you…unsatisfied
Why can’t I stop loving you.
The smile that I see,
Is just meant to be seen.
I tell you they don’t matter to me
And you laugh out loud.
You have nothing to prove and so do I
But what is this thought that hits me before I sleep.
No, I don’t dream of you -
I have no emotions -
It is easy to feel alone
It is so simple to be busy -
What haunts me is the missing link
My three best friends
I find it funny when I find my sister classifying people around her as friends, just friends, best friends, bestest friends etc. Funnier still when I find few girls here in my post graduation classifying exactly the same way that my 8 years younger sister does (she had been doing this since she was in 7th standard I suppose). I wonder if there is some kind of secret book that girls pass among themselves. Anyways I am not in a mood to talk about girls today, but about 3 of my best friends whom I believe can never be ever replaced in my life.
One year long saga ends today
The day when heart broke
“Hey look at her…come on at least look at her, she is indeed beautiful” … I stupidly looked back to see a girl who was standing on the corridor.
“Isn’t she beautiful” she said expecting me to jump up with excitement. Now what sort dull question that can be? Obviously the girl in the corridor was beautiful but so what. And why is that boys are expected to drool at all the second girl they see?
Missing a Coach
“Missing A coach”
I am not fascinated by this status line but it has been lingering since many days now. I am getting nothing new to write there or may be nothing new that would successfully replace it. Right now I have left all the attempts to withdraw it forcefully and quite satisfied by my decision.
I remember a person with whom I don’t remember when I met him first, and he said something that hit me so much on the face that whenever I am in trouble I ask that to myself and surprisingly till date it had never disappointed me to look at things clearly – He said – “Ask yourself if you are RUTHLESSLY honest to yourself while taking any decision or action”.
What Tandem
It must be some random time that I screwed up my coffee and with the first sip I knew there will be no other sip from this coffee-mug. I don’t know if the sugar was low on taste or the coffee was too bitter; but the bottom line was that that I wanted to have coffee and still was not able to have it.
A whisper over the coffee
I intend to keep it short.
I have realized that though keeping an expectation in a relationship can be heart-breaking at times; but what shatters the most is when I get to know that there is no expectation from me from the person I care. That may not be justified but this is exactly what I feel at times.
Random Sips and Life
The coffee is steaming hot right now and I think I can scribble some random lines before I can have a sip.
*————————–*————————–*
I do discover myself every day but some days I discover myself more, and today is one of those days. Today I discovered that I lose when I fight with myself. No matter which ‘I’ wins, the loss is always mine. I am not being derogative. In fact I believe everyone must stop for a moment and think out loud if they have been manipulating their way out all the while not paying any attention to the actual-self one is. I can respect others when I am polite to them, but I can respect myself if I stop trying being myself and be myself.
Spilling it again
Some experiences are not meant to be just experiences; in fact they must never be ‘just an experience’ at all.
At times I need participation, little of it may be but being a part of it takes the matter to entirely new league. Love to me is never blind; it is an eye opener. May be my eyes open to see another pair of eyes and I keep guessing as what it may hold for me today. I like to see a smile that lights up the moment and feels like I can carry them all along with me. It is not the words that I hear but the sound that keeps humming within with a note as calm as silence and may be a hug that makes me wonder if I can freeze the moment. And what I wish is not just an experience of all this but something that breathes with me as I live.
