To find the “missing-me”

I could think of nothing better than starting my day with a blog post. It had been like ages when I last wrote on my blog.
It makes me feel everyday as if I am living in a different world; seems priorities in life are defined by the insecurities. I wonder what is that defined it earlier.
Thankfully I do not live by the expectations of others; but that does not mean no expectations are attached to me. I seriously put an effort to keep those expectations alive. What defines the life expectancy of these expectations are the priorities that sprout out time to time.
Today’s post is dedicated to one such event; my dear friend Vishala’s marriage.
It sounds rude when you realize that you cannot dedicate few days to join into something which you are by default a part of and there is nothing that will fill up your spot. It equally sounds frustrating when no matter what you do, situations mock your helplessness. It is a pity that choices on such cases are not meant to be chosen but defined by a default value. The only choice that remains is the choice between “what is right” and “what heart feels is right”.
It has been numerous times, when I look at a photograph and see the “missing-me” in it. The vicarious pleasure is painful, but it is an acceptable punishment. I wonder how something can be so attached when you are not in it. I wish I never get an answer to that, in fact I don’t want to face such punishments again.
The thing is I have not forgotten to be a friend. Neither am I opting for a comfort zone. The non-definitive life is the outcome of insecurities attached to the path I have taken. Nothing I can do about them, because they ought to be there. I am doing my best to mitigate their consequences.
There is also a sense in me which asks me to gauge the value in the things I am missing because of the path I have taken. What I know for sure that beyond the limit, where this investment of mine will fail to show prospects, I will take another ride. But that is not what bothers me, what bothers me is can I do enough to hold in the faith of my family and friends till that limit?
The next photograph I look, let there be no “missing-me”.